JOKES and Hunting humor

TheGreatwhitehunter · Post by **TheGreatwhitehunter** » Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:04 am

Post some some of those hunting jokes

Jim and Bob went deer hunting on Jim's cousin's land Jim's cousin said you can hunt here as long as you will shoot our old milk cow for us she is old and needs to be put to rest.

Jim decided to play a joke on Bob he got back in the truck and said to Bob, "The old cuss wont let us hunt here so were gonna shoot his cow."

They got out there and Jim starts to shoot the cow he fires and gets in the truck. A few seconds later he hears another shot. Bob gets in the truck and says, "Let's go I shot his dog too!"

hound_hunter · Post by **hound_hunter** » Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:16 pm

hahah... at first i was thinking "wtc?????" but that was pretty funny.. I liked it;

lets hear some more!! some of you guys got to have some pretty good jokes, unfortunately i dont know any

TheGreatwhitehunter · Post by **TheGreatwhitehunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:06 am

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Arkansas recently with two ice chests full of fish.
He was about to be leavin' a cove that was pretty well-known for its fishing success.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir", replied the redneck. "I ain't got none of them there licenses. You gotta understand,
these here are my pet fish."

"PET FISH?"

Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile.
Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that."

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth Mr. Government Man.
I'll show ya. It really works."

"O. K.", said the warden. "I've got to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"

"Well, what?", says the redneck.

The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call WHO back?"

"The FISH", replied the warden!

"WHAT FISH?", replied the redneck.

MORAL: We rednecks may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees!

Post by **MuleyMadness** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:20 am

First one was dang funny. Made me laugh!!

2nd one was good also.

Post by **MuleyMadness** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:21 am

Get Away From my Deer!

It was Saturday morning and Bill, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Susan, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Bill asks her, What are you up to? Susan smiles, I'm going hunting with you! Bill, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.

They arrive at the hunting site. Bill sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and shoot. I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot. Bill walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Susan couldn't bag an chicken, let alone a deer.

But not 15 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears several gunshots. Quickly, Bill starts running back to his wife's tree stand. As Bill gets closer, he hears Susan screaming, get away from my deer! Confused, Bill races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, get away from my deer! Followed by another volley of gunfire.

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Bill is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, Okay, mam, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!

TheGreatwhitehunter · Post by **TheGreatwhitehunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:04 pm

thats funny

Heres another one

Two men from the states were very excited about a 3 day hunting trip. They were going to Canada to hunt some big game animals, since they were just used to hunting small deer, rabbit, and squirrel in the states. The first day the game warden wished them luck cause it hadn't been a good season and no one had killed anything in two weeks.

The two men left to go hunting and when they came back that night the warden greeted them by saying, "Have any luck?" The men pulled up a huge buck that they had killed which had a bullet hole right between the eyes. The warden congratulated them and said, "That was one heck of a shot."

The next day the warden greeted the two men again before they left and again wished them luck. This night the men came back with an even bigger buck and the buck also had a bullet hole right between the eyes. The warden was amazed at their success and also the good aim the hunters had.

The last day went about the same as the first two and on the last night the two hunters came back with a huge grizzly bear. The bear also had a bullet hole right between the eyes but it also had a hole in each paw. The warden noticed this and questioned the two men how that happened. One of the hunters replied with, "That's where he tried to cover his eyes from the spot light."

lifetime hunter · Post by **lifetime hunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:20 pm

good ones!

lifetime hunter · Post by **lifetime hunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:27 pm

The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same
thing -hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football
player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed
and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said. They couldn't believe it!

They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed
and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

TheGreatwhitehunter · Post by **TheGreatwhitehunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:50 pm

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Texas recently with two ice

chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man "Do you have a license to catch those

fish?"

"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must

understand these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" said the game warden.

"Ya. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them

swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rightt back into this

here ice chest and I take them home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" says the warden. The

redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said "It's the

truth Mr. Government man, I'll show you... it really works."

"Okay" said the game warden, "I've GOT to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the redneck.

The warden said "When are you going to call them back?"

The redneck said "Call who back?"

"The FISH!" replied the warden.

"What fish?" answered the redneck.

this just shows that even a redneck is smarter tham goverment employees.

TheGreatwhitehunter · Post by **TheGreatwhitehunter** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:55 pm

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally,

they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female

moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan

was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume

and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing,

donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long,

their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into

the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front

said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like

an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are

we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start

nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."