Walmart husband
MULEY7MM
11/15/08 7:04pm
Wal-mart Husband
Be very careful around bored husbands, their creative juices start
to overflow!!--
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips
to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally, unfortunately, my wife
is like most women ---she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
received the following letter from Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Hill,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against Mr.Hill are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. August 15 : Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
me alone?'
9. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed by, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
and last, but not least. . . .
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper
in here!!
Be very careful around bored husbands, their creative juices start
to overflow!!--
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips
to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally, unfortunately, my wife
is like most women ---she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
received the following letter from Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Hill,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against Mr.Hill are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. August 15 : Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
me alone?'
9. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed by, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
and last, but not least. . . .
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper
in here!!
1,754
I will retire next year
Thanks